Leo vs Beastie: A Heroes of Olympus Story
by TeamLeoOmega
Summary: When demigod Leo Valdez sees a possible monster following him, he sends the whole of Camp Half-Blood into chaos. He receives help from the not-so-eager daughter of Hades, Kristin, and the mildly confused daughter of Athena, Jenna, to find out just what he is being followed by. (On hiatus until my writers block goes away)
1. The Weirdness Begins

Part One: Kristin's POV

"AAAUUUUGGH!"

I awoke from a deep, blissful sleep to hear someone screaming bloody murder. They sounded like they'd just seen my dad.

"HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!"

This exclamation was followed by a bunch of crashing, cursing, and yelling. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but eventually it became unbearable. I stumbled out of my bunk and looked at the clock. Ugh, it was two in the morning. **_Two in the freaking morning._** If this was someone having a nightmare, I would personally send a hellhound after them. I staggered out of my cabin to find out what this commotion was all about.

I soon realized that the noise was coming from cabin nine; Hephaestus cabin. That could only mean one person could be causing this disruption.

The cabin door opened, and two Hephaestus campers, Nyssa and Jake, came out, dragging a struggling kid between them. They dumped him outside, went back in, and slammed the door. I heard a lock click into place. The kid immediately jumped up and started pounding on the door. "PLEASE LET ME IN!" he begged. "IT'S STILL AFTER ME!"

I knew immediately who it was. "Leo?!" I shouted. "_What_ is after you, and how do you expect me to get any sleep with you screaming like an idiot?"

He looked at me innocently. "Oh, hey, Kristin. What time is it?"

"It's two in the morning, smart one. **_Two in the freaking morning_**_._"

"Okay, okay! No need to lose your temper, death girl."

"_Excuse _me?"

"Never mind. Hey, since you're the daughter of Hades, can you, like, help me with something, like, right now?"

"What's so important that you need me to help you at two in the morning?"

"Well, I heard this scratching noise outside my window, and I think it might be some sort of monster, but nobody in my cabin believes me, so I thought you could, you know, get rid of it, or something."

"Why do you think it's a monster? Did you actually see it?"

"All I saw were a pair of glowing eyes. That's when I tried to wake up some of my siblings. When I went to show them, it was gone."

I was not in the least bit impressed. "It's a freaking chipmunk, Valdez. Go back to bed."

Leo stared at me. "I know it's not a chipmunk. Please, go look. I'll pay you."

"Eight drachmas."

"Eight?! I was thinking more around five."

"Eight."

"Five."

"Nine."

"Five."

"Ten."

"Six."

"Twelve."

"Eight?"

"That ship has sailed, Valdez. Twelve, or nothing. And I also bet you ten drachmas that it isn't a monster."

"Fine," Leo huffed. "I bet that it is. But don't come telling me it's a chipmunk until you've looked for at least fifteen minutes."

"Ten."

"Fifteen."

"Nine."

"Fifteen."

"Seven."

"Fifteen."

"Five."

"Ten?"

"That ship left with the eight drachmas, Valdez."

"Come on, ten?"

"No more than seven, fire boy. That's my last offer, and if you don't like it, I am taking your twelve drachmas and returning to my cabin."

"Alright, fine. Just go look, then I'll pay you."

"Nope. Nice try, but I want the drachmas first."

"What? No, you have to do the work before you get paid."

"I'm not going to go looking for a chipmunk until you give me the drachmas."

"It wasn't a chipmunk! How about six now, and six after?"

"Do you want me to summon a hellhound?"

"Fine! Okay!" Leo dug in his pocket and brought out a handful of gold coins. He counted out twelve and handed them to me.

"Where did you even get twelve drachmas?"

"It's handy to know the Stolls. Let's just leave it at that."

"Um, okay?" I suddenly felt uncomfortable holding the drachmas. Knowing Conner and Travis, there was a large chance that the coins contained firecrackers, or something just as explosive. Even so, I stuffed them in my back pocket. I prayed to the gods that they wouldn't go off while they were in my pocket. Having my butt explode would be too embarrassing for words.

Leo led me around the back of his cabin. I followed him around the corner, not really paying attention, letting my mind wander. I didn't realize I was daydreaming [or whatever you call it at two in the morning] until I ran smack into Leo, who had stopped.

I made a heroic little yelping noise, and Leo slapped his hand over my mouth. "Will you _please_ shut up? It's going to hear us! Do you want to get the flesh stripped from your bones?"

I removed his hand from my face. "You've given this some thought. Since when do rodents strip human flesh? Did the chipmunk have fangs instead of buck teeth?"

Leo did not find this funny. "How many times do I have to tell you? It **_was not_** a chipmunk."

"Oh, I see. It was a squirrel."

Leo's hands caught on fire.

"Okay, okay, sorry," I said quickly, trying to save my sorry hide from getting burned to ashes. "Where did you see the chipm... I mean, the monster?"

"Over there." Leo pointed to a tree several yards from the cabin. "In the shadows of that tree."

I picked my way towards the tree. It cast a long, dark shadow that would be easy for anything from a chipmunk to a manticore to hide in. I approached with caution, kneeling down by the tree's roots. I didn't see any monster evidence, but I did find a small, circular tunnel under one root, with many tiny paw prints around it. _Oh my God,_ I thought. _It really is a chipmunk. I am never going to let Leo forget this._

I walked casually back up to Leo, trying to look serious. "Leo Valdez, I proclaim that you are being stalked by... a rodent."

"**_What?_**"

"Come and see if you don't believe me."

I led him over to the tree and showed him the tunnel and the paw prints. He shook his head. "No, I swear it wasn't a chipmunk! It couldn't have been!"

I grinned. "You're such a sore loser, Leo. Now pay up."

"Hang on! Kristin, you can't call this your proof! You have no real evidence that what I saw was a chipmunk."

I stared at Leo. "And your point is..."

"You aren't a tracker!" Leo protested. "We should get hold of a real tracker... a Hunter of Artemis, maybe?"

I groaned. I had a good friend who was a Hunter. Her name was Jessica. She was a daughter of Aphrodite, but a tomboy at the same time. She always came to Camp Half-Blood if we had a problem, but I doubted she'd want to be bothered with a story about a psychopath chipmunk that was scaring the crap out of a hyperactive demigod. Knowing Leo, he'd just want to flirt with her, or the other Hunters.

"Leo, I'm not going to bother Jessica with this crap."

"Come on, Kristin! I won't hit on them while they're here."

"No. Maybe I can get someone else to look at this when the sun rises, but I'm not dragging the Hunters of Artemis up here with a story about an evil rodent. Go back to bed."

"Fine. Then maybe I'll prove you wrong."

"Whatever, Valdez. You keep telling yourself that."

**(A/n)Not the best, I know, but I hope you enjoyed it! Please review! ~TLO**


	2. Things Burn

**(A/n) Shout out to everybody who has read chapter one. Also, a shout out to marshapono for being my first follower! Thanks for that review, it means a lot!**

Part Two: Jenna's POV

So... I guess you could say Kristin was thoroughly upset with Leo.

She complained to me for about half an hour straight about Leo seeing a demented chipmunk, or something, though I'm not really sure. I tuned her out after the first few sentences.

Being the daughter of Athena, I always had a book with me, so when I got tired of not listening to Kristin, I started to read.

Kristin stopped mid-sentence. "Are you _reading_? Seriously, Jenna, do I have to go back to feeding your books to Turnip?" Ugh, I hated Turnip. He was this drakon that apparently didn't grow properly, since he was the size of a house cat. Kristin found him, and claimed him as her pet. She kept him in her cabin, and had him blow fire at campers when she wanted to be left alone. Of course, Turnip couldn't keep Leo away, and Kristin found him probably the most annoying demigod that ever lived. Figures.

"Um, sorry?" Since I cared so very little about what Kristin was telling me, I wasn't in the least bit sorry. I mean, come on. A chipmunk? Was I supposed to respond like I was interested? Either Leo's brain was _way_ too active, or he and Kristin had both completely lost it. And, come on, how could I tell a person that summoned hellhounds at will and had a pet drakon that she'd lost it? I quite like my appendages, thank you very much. So, after my fake apology, I kept my mouth shut.

Kristin raised an eyebrow, not looking convinced. I began racking my brain to remember if I had enough money to replace books destroyed by Turnip.

But Kristin just sighed. "Alright, Jenna. I know you're not gonna like this, but I want you to try and talk some sense into Leo."

It was my turn to look skeptical. "Say what?"

"Please. I have an all-night investigation of a chipmunk hole in my future if you don't help me. Or maybe a charred butt."

I groaned. Leo, with his fire powers, was the runner up to Turnip in book destruction, and I was one of the few people that annoyed him as much as he annoyed me. When I got him seriously irritated, like I felt I was about to do, he went on a book-burning rampage, and I seriously wanted to avoid that.

"Do I have to, Kristin? When I get on his nerves... things burn."

"Oh, please, Jenna. With him here, things burn on a daily basis."

"But those things usually become my books. Why don't you talk to him?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Are you **_kidding_** me?!"

"Nope."

I groaned louder. "Okay, fine. But if any, and I mean **_any_** of my books are damaged in any way whatsoever due to me annoying Leo, I will hold **_you_**personally responsible. That means you have to pay for new books. Got it?" It wasn't really a question.

Kristin gritted her teeth. "Fine. I will pay for your stupid books if the hyperactive flamethrower damages them."

"Good. And they aren't stupid."

"Whatever."

I stood and headed towards the Hephaestus cabin, taking my time. Half of my brain was occupied with horrible images of my bookshelves in flames, the other half thinking frantically of places to hide my books, should Leo go on a rampage. I was, in fact, so preoccupied with these thoughts that I ran into someone, and [naturally] I fell over while the other person only stumbled but stayed on their feet.

Figuring my face was about as red as the bright side of Mars, I stood and brushed off my clothes while trying to avert my gaze from the person that I had just tried to take on a ride into the fire of Hestia. When my face quit burning, I looked cautiously up at whoever was standing there. Naturally, it was Leo. And, of course, he looked like he was trying not to laugh. I hated my life.

"Hi, Leo," I said to his feet. My inability to communicate with anyone I didn't normally talk to was killing me in the social world. I mean, in the last year, I'd been invited to one party, and it turned out to be a bunch of old people in a book club. Again, life was going seriously downhill for me.

Leo looked a little concerned. "Um, you're not hitting on me, are you? 'Cause Reyna wouldn't be too happy if you are."

How Leo had managed to get a date with Reyna was now the question of the universe, or at least it was for me. I had been under the impression that she hated him, then [big surprise] I'm the last to find out that they're dating. Story of my life.

I made myself look at his face. "No, Leo, I don't hit on people, as you well know." Seriously, that's what I was known for. Book craziness, and staying forever single. I was hating my life more and more.

"So, can I help you?" Leo asked, still trying not to laugh. I will get him someday.

"Well, Kristin wanted me to talk to you about—"

Leo's hands burst into flames. I realized far too late that I probably should not have mentioned my being Kristin's messenger. Oops.

"It was **_not_** a chipmunk! Oooh, Jenna, if you get on my case about last night, I'm going to turn your books to ash." He knew how to threaten me.

I flinched. "Leo Valdez, do **_not_** even try coming near my books," I said trying to sound confident. "If I see you even **_breathe_** in the direction of a bookshelf, I will get Kristin to set a hellhound on you faster than you can get out a wrench."

"Oh, so now Kristin's on your payroll?" Leo said in an irritated tone that made me nervous.

"Um..."

"Not so sure anymore?"

"Can we please just get to what I came here to talk about? I have somewhere to be."

"What? Your stupid book club that you've been to so many times that you memorized the opening speech? Give me a break."

"It is **_not_** stupid! And that speech is short! Not my fault!"

"It's not even a class! It was intended for people to attend **_one day_**. They do the same thing **_every day_**! You can't seriously call that entertaining!"

"Well, I suppose we have contrasting opinions? Now, can we get to the actual conversation? Believe it or not, I have other things I could be doing."

"Cleaning your cabin? Going to your 'class?' **_Reading?_**"

"Leo, would you just shut up?!"

I probably shouldn't have said that.

Leo glared at me, then ran off towards the Athena cabin. I chased him, trying to come up with a way to stop him, but the only thing my stupid brain could do was think C_rap, crap, crap..._

Upon entering the cabin, I saw one bookshelf already in flames. Turning towards the surviving bookshelves, I saw, to my dismay, Turnip sitting with book three of my favorite series hanging out of his mouth.

Did I mention how much I hate my life?

**(A/n) Wow... I finished this pretty fast, considering I just put up chapter 1. Maybe it helped that I was already partway through this chapter when I put up the first part. Or maybe I just have way too much time on my hands. Either way, please review! I'd love to know your opinion on this, and I may give you a shout out on the next one! And, yes, I am a Leyna shipper. Please review! Love you people! ~TLO**


	3. My Showdown With the Flamethrower

**(A/n) Yeah, I definitely have too much time on my hands. Part three already! I tried not to rush, but I am addicted to writing this, so I hope the story doesn't look rushed.**

Part Three: Kristin's POV

Jenna's attempt to talk sense into Valdez? It pretty much failed.

After putting out the fires in the Athena cabin and my failed attempts to get Turnip to regurgitate Jenna's book, I approached the human flamethrower myself, determined to grill at least some sanity into his head.

"Valdez, what the heck?" Yeah, real great start there. I began adding it up in my head: Valdez, 0, Kristin, -1.

He answered a question with another question. "You're gonna help me tonight, right?" Actually, it sounded more like a threat than a question.

"Leo, let me define _human_. They do a little thing at night called _sleep_, and they need it, unless other people around them are really tired of living." I gave myself another point for that.

"Kristin, let me define _demigod_. They are only half human, which probably means they only need half the sleep humans do." Why was he so freaking good with comebacks?

"Well, I must be more human than god; I like my sleep." Why was I so freaking awful with comebacks?

"Whatever you say, Kristin. I called Thalia, and the Hunters are coming."

"Okay, well... wait, _what_?!"

"I called Thalia. She's bringing the Hunters and they're gonna find the monster."

"Leo, I told you I didn't want to involve the Hunters. There is no reason to drag them up here." Then I realized something. "Hey, how'd you get Thalia's phone number, anyway?"

"I have my ways."

"You mean like rooting around in Annabeth's stuff?"

"Uh... I don't know what you mean."

"Sure. Look, I'll stay up as long as the Hunters are coming."

"Why? Are you that excited to see them?"

"No, I want to tell them to leave before you embarrass me."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. Then I'm going to bed."

*Later that night*

I sat on my bunk and tried to keep from nodding off. Turnip was curled up on my pillow, and I was desperately attempting to glue the pages back in Jenna's book. I swept off the soot as best as I could. I had told Jenna that I would pay for all of the damaged books. Yeah right! Like I had enough money to pay for all those books. Like I even had enough to replace the one Turnip ate.

As I tried to put the spine back on the stupid book, someone started pounding mercilessly on the cabin door. I stood, groaning. "Leo, I told you, I don't want to get involved with—" But as I opened the door, Leo wasn't standing there. Instead, there was an old man with _really_ long hair and a _really_ long beard standing outside.

"Uh, hi?" I said. "Can I, um, help you?"

"No." He had exactly two teeth.

"Who are you?"

"Lorenzo!"

"Okay...?"

"Yah."

"Um, good for you. I'm busy." I shut the door. About ten seconds later, there was more pounding. I plodded back over to the door. "Seriously, old man, I don't need—" Naturally, it was Leo this time.

"The Hunters are here."

I looked over his shoulder. A large group of teenage girls stood in a tight bunch. "I see that," I said.

"Thalia and a few others are already checking out the tree," Leo said. "They wanted us over there."

"Why didn't y0u come get me sooner?"

"Jenna was making me clean up the ash in her cabin, and she wouldn't let me leave."

"Whatever." I followed him outside and over to the tree, where I saw Thalia and two other Hunters kneeling by its roots. One of them was Jessica, and she still looked thirteen. She'd joined the Hunters two years ago, when she'd been a month older than me. Now, I realized I was older than her. That was a little surprising.

"Hi, Jess!" I called. Jessica looked up and saw me.

"Hey, Kris! How have you been?"

"A bit sleepless lately," I said, glaring at Leo. I turned back to Jessica. "So, are you finding anything?"

Thalia looked up. "We did find some noticably large clawmarks on this side of the trunk. Something could have climbed the tree. We also found a small tunnel, so it could have just as easily been a chipmunk. It's hard to tell."

Jessica spoke up. "It's probably gonna be an all-nighter for us to tell for sure, and we could really use your help, if you don't mind."

_Great,_ I thought. _Another sleepless night searching for freaking chipmunk evidence. I hope you're happy, Leo._

But I couldn't say no to my best friend. "Uh, sure," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

Now would probably have been a good time to remind myself how cranky I get when I'm tired.

I will get you, Valdez. That is a promise.

**(A/n) Poor Kristin. I'm glad I'm not Leo in that situation! And if you were weirded out by Lorenzo, he will be more important later, so yes, I had a reason for putting a creepy old man in this chapter. Anyway, hope you enjoyed chapter three. Please review! I would love to know your opinion! Chapter four will be out soon, hopefully! [But knowing me, it will likely be out tomorrow]. Thanks. ~TLO**


	4. Flirting and Book Frenzies

**(A/n) My excuses for being late: Writer's block, a thunderstorm, summer homework, a new book series I started and am now obsessed with, the book I'm writing, laziness. I apologize for being late. Also, I forgot to send a shout out to marshapono on the last one for reviewing, following the story and being awesome. Sorry I forgot to say this on the last one, but thanks for reviewing all of the chapters so far! And now, you people probably want to read the chapter...**

Part Four: Jenna's POV 

I knew Kristin was mad at Leo. That also meant I knew she would most likely send me on a life threatening mission to get back at him.

At this point, you may be asking yourself why I would ever spend my time with people who I know could get me killed.

The question remains unanswered.

So anyway, I knew that since Kristin was mad at Leo, she would probably ask me to help her get back at him.

I was wrong. She _forced_ me to help her get back at him.

I was sleeping in my bunk, and having a rather peaceful rest without some big scary prophecy dream when someone began hammering their fist on the cabin door. That woke me up quick. I stood and stumbled over to the door. I opened it, expecting to see Kristin. Instead, I found myself looking into the greasy, wrinkled face of a fat old man with really long white hair.

I was tired, so I wasn't thinking straight. The following conversation went something like this.

Man: Hi!

Me: Professor Dumbledore?

Man: My name is Lorenzo!

Me: Oh, hi Gandalf.

Man: Eh?

Me: Is that a spell?

Man: I am a fifteen-year-old girl!

Me: Okay, tell Froto I said hi.

Man: Eh?

Me: Oh, sorry. Tell Harry I said hi.

Again, take into consideration that I was half asleep at the time, and had also recently read _Harry Potter_ and _Lord of the Rings._

As I started to get back into bed, the pounding started back up. I went back over to the door. "Spock? Is that you?" I said as I opened the door. Kristin stood outside with an eyebrow raised.

"Did you just call me Spock?"

"You mean you aren't?"

"Did you fall asleep with a book on your face again?"

"Sorry, I can't talk now. I have to walk Cerberus."

"Okay... no more hanging out with Nico."

"Ha! You can't get me!" I started running in circles around Kristin. "I am a DHI! I am made of light! I have to go stop Maleficent! Bwa ha ha!"

"Jenna—"

"Philby says Return is in two minutes. I need to find the fob! THE FOB!"

"Who? _What?_"

"Augh! A weeping angel!"

"Jenna, that's a weathervane."

"The Sphinx is a traitor! He wants to take over the magical preserves all over the earth! You have to let Vanessa out of the Quiet Box!"

"The _what?!_"

"The satyrs want batteries. _THE SATYRS WANT BATTERIES._"

"Jenna, I think you're a little hyper."

"No, Faolan! Don't trust Heep, he wants you dead! Oh my gods, _DANCING WOLVES!"_

"Calm yourself!"

"Get him, Firestar! _GET HIM!_"

"Seriously!"

"_EXPECTO PATRONEM!"_

"JENNA!"

I stopped running in circles. "Yes?"

"You need to _stop_ reading so much, and _STOP_ watching Doctor Who!"

"Kristin? When did you get here?"

"I keep forgetting how hyper you get when you're up late."

I started to calm a bit. Now that I'd gotten that out of my system, I felt a little more alert. Now that I wasn't so dizzy from running in circles, Kristin was back to having one head, which was sort of a relief.

"So, what's up?" I asked.

"Leo called the Hunters, and—"

"Leo called Hogwarts?!"

"No! He called _the Hunters._"

"Mrs. Norris? Here, kitty kitty kitty!"

"Jenna?"

"Yes, Mr. Filch?"

"I want you to close your eyes and take five slow, deep breaths."

"Is Leonard Nimoy there?"

"Quit watching _Star Trek_."

"Save the little brother! Save him from It!"

"I'm serious!"

"But your last name isn't Black!"

"Just come on! I need your help!"

Kristin's POV

Gods help me. Jenna was hyper. And when she was hyper, she wouldn't shut up.

We walked towards the tree where the Hunters were investigating Leo's "monster sighting." But as soon as we got close, Jenna stopped walking and planted herself where she was, staring at the tree.

"Jenna?"

"It's the Womping Willow," she whispered. "No... sudden... moves!"

I grabbed her arm and dragged her the rest of the way.

When we arrived, Leo was leaning against the tree, and he appeared to be smooth-talking Thalia, who was glaring at him.

"I said, leave me alone!" Thalia was saying.

"C'mon, girl," Leo said. "Did I tell you this lighting makes you look so fine?"

"About a billion times."

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

I stepped between them. "Leo! What happened to 'I won't hit on them while they're here'?"

Leo grinned. "Crossies doesn't count!" he crowed.

I groaned. Then, remembering Jenna, I looked over to see her approach Jessica and the other Hunter.

"Hermione? Luna? Can I have your autograph?"

Zeus, strike me down now.

**(A/n) Confused?**

**References in Jenna's rant [in order of appearance]: ****_Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Kingdom Keepers, Doctor Who, Fablehaven, Wolves of the Beyond, Warriors._**** Some reappear. Hope I spelled everything right.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and yes, Lorenzo ****_will_**** be important soon, but for now, he's just a creepy guy who keeps showing up. **

**I already told you this. Sorry.**

**Keep reading and reviewing! Thanks! ~TLO **


	5. We Hold a Free-For-All Slap Fest

**(A/n) Hello, my pretties. Long time, no see.**

**A hundred views. Yay. Not that you'd care...**

**First things first, I forgot to mention Jenna's reference of ****_A Wrinkle In Time._**

**I also apologize for the longer wait; I had to finish an entire novel by the end of the week for my English summer homework. I was only really motivated to finish it fast so I could go get Fablehaven book three and Kingdom Keepers book six... but the novel was still very good.**

**Anyway, sorry for making you fellow Heroes of Olympus fans wait for this.**

**marshapono: Thank you so much! Your reviews really mean a lot! Again, sorry for making you wait!**

**DaWeepingAngel: Glad you ****_finally_**** got an account, Mr.Y. I'm also glad you liked my reference to weeping angels and Doctor Who and whatnot. Thanks for reading. Start writing stories, now. I demand it.**

**Laureleaf3: I'm glad you're enjoying it! I love your stories and song-fics! I know you're probably tired of hearing me blab in the reviews...**

**Anywho, here is the chapter you've all been waiting for.**

Part Five: Kristin's POV

At this point, I was annoyed to the breaking point.

Leo was still flirting with Thalia, and I didn't want to be around when Reyna found out. Jenna was still in a book daze. For five minutes, Jessica and the other Hunter were Hermione and Luna. Then they became Charlene and Willa. Then Kendra and Vanessa. Then Hermione and Luna again.

This whole thing was beginning to give me a massive headache.

I stood with my back against the tree, falling asleep as I watched chaos unfold in front of me **[(A/n) Real lulling, I know]** when suddenly I caught the smelliest scent on the face of the earth coming from right behind me. Turning slowly, afraid there was some demented skunk back there, I found myself looking straight into the eyes of the fat old man.

We both screamed, his sounding like a five-year-old girl's. I fell on my butt in front of everybody. I was about to get up and face mortal embarrassment when the old man ran up to me, shoving his face into mine, _way_ too close for comfort thank you very much.

I took a breath through my nose and instantly regretted it. After making a sound quite like a cat with a large hairball, my brain somehow processed that the sickening odor was the old man's breath.

No wonder he only had two teeth. It smelled like he hadn't seen a toothbrush for centuries.

"Um... why are you on top of me?" I said, trying to breathe through my mouth, if at all.

He grinned, and I got another unwelcome whiff of almost-toothless-old-man. "You have very pretty..." He paused, and just when I thought he was going to say something flattering, he said, "...nostrils. Really nice nostrils."

I heard Leo cracking up somewhere to my left. I wasn't sure if it was because of the old man's response or my expression.

"Uh... thanks?"

"Yah. I am a fifteen-year-old girl!"

"No you're not..."

"Uh-_huh_!"

"Well, alright then. Can I get up?"

"Nostrils," the old man said dreamily. "Really pretty nostrils."

Leo, still laughing, suddenly silenced. "Oh, um, hey Reyna," he said nervously. This was followed by a slapping noise.

"Leo Valdez!" It was Reyna's voice. "What, in the name of Jupiter, are you doing flirting with that girl? You do realize she's a Hunter, right? And I'm still your girlfriend, you ridiculous boy. But maybe not for long."

"Come on, Reyna!" She must have turned her back as Leo continued to plead. "I'm sorry, baby. Look, I was just, um, testing her Hunter loyalties. Yeah!"

"Just how stupid do I look?"

"Come on, forgive me?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"The physical appearance of the _please_ does not and will not earn you any points, Valdez."

Leo groaned. Then I heard another slapping noise.

"This is why I swore off boys!" It was Thalia's voice. She slapped him again. "They are completely disloyal and... _boyish._" She said that last part like it was the most horrible thing in the world. Not that I didn't agree.

A fourth slap. "You've been flirting with Thalia and you have a _girlfriend_?!" It was Jessica. "That's _horrible_!" She slapped him again.

If I wasn't pinned to the ground, I would have gone over and slapped the stupid boy a few times myself. He was starting to get on my nerves.

Okay, maybe he was already on my nerves.

I tried to push the old man off me. Did I mention the fact that he was _fat_? It felt like I was pinned by a rather large sack of potatoes. What did this guy do for fun besides examining nostrils? Eat cinder blocks?

Trying to hold my breath, I again attempted to push the guy off me. He wouldn't budge. In fact, after my large amount of shoving, he shifted and sat down on me like I was a chair. He had his butt on my stomach and was humming something that sounded suspiciously like "The Wheels on the Bus."

"Uh, can I please get up?" I moaned.

"I am a fifteen-year-old girl!"

"_Please_?!"

"_The wheels on the bus go round and round..._"

I couldn't take much more of this.

More slapping noises echoed from Leo's direction. I heard a bunch of feminine voices and realized more Hunters had joined the Leo Slap Fest. Hearing the commotion, the old man looked up, giggled like a five-year-old, and yelled, "My turn! My turn!" He stood, ran over to Leo, and smacked him so hard that the poor flamethrower fell on his hind end with a girlish shriek.

Now able to breathe, I stood and marched over to the cluster of Hunters around Leo. I pushed my way in and stood next to Leo.

"Everyone! I know Leo messed up, but that's no reason to go beating him up..."

Several mean looks.

"...without **_me_**!" I finished. I leaned down and whispered in Leo's ear, "This is for my murdered beauty rest."

I slapped him.

Leo's POV

_GIRL ATTACK!_

**(A/n) Leo's face must be pretty red!**

**I know that this was short, considering the fact that I have made all you lovely strangers wait so long for this.**

**Again, I blame my summer homework, my enormous desire to read Fablehaven 3 and Kingdom Keepers 6, and my laziness.**

**Keep reading and reviewing! Yours in demigodishness, TLO**


	6. Jenna Unexpectedly Goes Swimming

**(A/n) Hey, guys! I'm back [at last]. Ready for the excuses?**

**First of all, the main reason is the fact that I have discovered Wolf's Rain, my new obsession. My friend got me to watch the first episode, telling me I'd be hooked. I didn't believe her at first, but soon life was going something like this.**

**Mom: Hey, you do know it's four in the morning, right?**

**Me: Shhh! I'm missing the wolf fight!**

***30 minutes later***

**Mom: Hey, you realize it's 4:30 in the morning, right?**

**Me: Shhh! I want to hear them howl!**

**Mom: What?**

**Me: You wouldn't understand. You've never howled at the moon before.**

**Mom: ...**

***The next night***

**Me: *Sobbing uncontrollably***

**Mom: Are you okay?**

**Me: NO! TOBOE!**

**And so on. That was also more or less how I reacted to ****_The Outsiders _****[with "Johnny" in place of "Toboe"]. So, blame my friend for getting me into that series. I just put a new story up for Wolf's Rain, so go check it out. I also blame writer's block and a hectic life for my lateness.**

**Oddandproud246: I thought it was you, but I was afraid to PM you in case it wasn't I explained things in the message. I will see you and torture you in school. **

**Anyway, here's your story. **

Part Six: Jenna's POV

Why was I suddenly awash in the many thousand book characters and scenes I'd read and watched?

I remember leaning against the Womping Willow, which seemed to be in a petrified state, and wondering why the cabin in front of me was so rudely not Tardus blue.

There were several girls in front of me. I noticed Hermione and Luna were among them and wondered if we were actually at Hogwarts. Then I saw Charlene, Willa, Kendra, Vanessa, Blue, Cole, Cher, Cheza, Fiona, Sandstorm, Leafpool, Airmead, and Cherry. What were they all doing here? Why were cats and wolves there?

They seemed to all be gathered around something. I walked calmly over and looked above the many heads. Professor McGonagall seemed to be slapping someone. It looked like Froto.

I pushed my way in. "Professor, don't hit Froto," I said.

She looked up at me. "Did you just call me 'Professor?'" she asked.

Her victim looked at me tentatively. "Uh, Jenna? My name's not Froto."

I looked at him again. "Kiba?!"

"Who?"

"Can I see you in your wolf form?"

"Uh..."

"_Pleeeeeeeeease?_"

Not-so-Professor McGonagall grabbed my shoulders. "Jenna, snap out of it before I throw you in the lake."

"Okay. Is Leonard Nimoy there?"

Kristin's POV

I always stay true to my promises.

Leo's POV

Who, in the name of cream cheese, is Kiba?

I think Jenna was starting to confuse us all, but seriously, do I look that much like Froto? And to be honest, Kristin looks absolutely _nothing _like Professor McGonagall. At least not the one from the movie.

Come on, now. Who has the time to read the book?!

Anyway, Jenna was really starting to scare me. I was a bit relieved when Kristin threw her in the lake because a) I was seriously confused and a bit freaked out, and b) it meant Kristin was no longer slapping me.

I suppose I should have tried to make up with Reyna like a good boyfriend, but I chose to go laugh at Jenna, as that seemed the more interesting and less dangerous thing to do.

Maybe I should have considered the effects of both of these actions. I could have saved myself some pain. And maybe some teeth.

When I arrived at the lake, Kristin had already dumped Jenna in and was standing on the shore, looking slightly amused as Jenna splashed around and tried to get her footing.

When she did, she stood and crossed her arms, looking incredibly angry. And she wasn't glaring at Kristin. She was glaring at me.

Oh, crap.

"Leo Valdez!" she yelled. "What exactly is you problem?!"

"Uh, I didn't push you in, Jenna."

"Oh, right. I'm sure Turnip did it."

"Seriously! It wasn't me, it was Kris..."

I trailed off as I turned to look at Kristin, who was no longer standing next to me. I heard laughter, looked up, and saw her in a tree, laughing so hard she nearly fell out.

Shadow travel. Freaking _shadow travel_. I really hated Kristin right then.

"Seriously, huh?" Jenna said sarcastically. "Doesn't look that way to me."

"I'm not kidding!" I cried. "It was Kristin! Kristin and her stupid shadow travel."

"My respect for you is dwindling."

"_Seriously_!"

"Leo, unless you're really tired of living, I highly suggest you clear out."

At this point, I had exactly two options: stand my ground, or run for my life.

I ran for my life.

Of course, I ran smack into Reyna, who was _very_ unhappy with me at the time, probably because I hadn't apologized or begged for mercy.

Surprise! She punched me.

Oh, and we can't forget about Jenna! She came up behind me and kicked me in the butt. I fell face first on the ground in front of them both.

Excellent. Not only was I humiliated beyond anything I'd ever experienced, but it also looked like I was groveling.

And just when I didn't think it could get any worse, I looked up to see the old man from before. He reached down and picked me up. I thought he was helping at first, when he suddenly started to squeeze the life out of me.

"I _love_ you!" he squealed. "I am a fifteen-year-old girl!"

As soon as I can breathe again, everyone within a ten-mile radius will have a charred behind.

That is a promise.

**(A/n) Well, I'll be running for the hills...**

**First things first, there is a poll up on my profile page about Heroes of Olympus couples. It has had only one vote so far, and it was me. Please vote! I put couples in there that I don't necessarily ship, like Jason and Reyna, or Leo and Piper, but I know there are people out there who do. Please go vote! Like, right now. That's an order.**

**Jenna's references [in order of appearance]: ****_Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Kingdom Keepers, Fablehaven, Wolf's Rain, The Giver, Warrior Cats, Wolves of the Beyond, The Outsiders, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek. _****Some reappear. Sorry if I spelled anything wrong.**

**I own nothing except Jenna, Kristin, Jessica, Turnip, this story, and my blabbing.**

**Keep reading and reviewing! Yours in demigodishness, TLO.**


	7. Old Men Eat Books (who knew?)

**(A/n) I'm back, my pretties. How has life been for you people? Did you miss me?**

**My lateness is mostly due to going on vacation to New Jersey, where I had no access whatsoever to a device of any kind, except the TV and an MP3 player, which I obviously couldn't use to type chapters. However, I just got back, like today, like an hour ago. I have also had horrible writer's block, and had no good ideas whatsoever. I missed Leo and Kristin and Jenna and Jessica and Thalia and, yes, I'll even include Lorenzo. **

**I think this is the second-to-last chapter; I have several story requests I want and need to get to. Let me know if you want it to go on longer than 8 chapters. I'd just have to take a break after Chapter 8.**

**Anyway, I apologize for making you guys wait so long! Here's your chapter.**

Part Seven: Kristin's POV

I was officially _done_ with this whole situation.

Don't get me wrong. Throwing Jenna in the lake was unbelievably fun, and a perfect way to get my revenge on Leo [two black eyes and a bloody nose, and they were _still_ beating him up; music to my ears]. But I was seriously tired of all this weirdness. I mean, this whole mess started from Valdez seeing a freaking _chipmunk_.

Alvin Seville, I swear to God, if I ever get my hands on you, you will not come out of the experience intact.

Anyway, the Hunters finally went back to searching for this mystery monster. Cue dramatic music. I decided to stumble miserably along behind, dreaming of... well, dreaming. I wanted to go to sleep!

It took me a while to realize that I was falling asleep standing up. There was a time when we stopped walking, and I think I must have fallen asleep for a few seconds; I got this image of Yoda saying something about organic potatoes. Thalia then proceeded to scream something at a passing boy who was apparently checking her out. That woke me up quick.

I continued to plod lazily behind the Hunters, slipping in and out of consciousness. I got a jarring wake-up call when I apparently wasn't very focused and smashed into a tree.

You could say it cleared my sinuses.

I shook my head and stumbled around like a blind horse for a few seconds before my vision cleared. I then realized that we had stopped and everyone was staring at me. I flashed a cheesy grin, waved, and said, "Hey."

Oh, yeah. Minus one for Miss Awkward.

Luckily, Thalia came to my rescue. "This is where we want to be," she said loudly, turning all the heads in her direction. Hallelujah.

The Hunters began to examine the tree in question for more chipmunk/monster evidence. I turned and slid to the ground, hoping to catch a few minutes of sleep, when I suddenly heard a scream that sounded kind of familiar. Jenna?

No, it couldn't be Jenna.

"HEY! _PUT MY BOOK __**DOWN**__!"_

Oh, yes, it was Jenna.

I turned to see Jenna sprinting after the old man, who was laughing insanely while running with a book in his mouth.

Man, did I wish I had a camera then.

The old man scampered into the forest, Jenna still in hot pursuit. I guess I could have just let them go, but this looked like it would turn out to be pretty funny. I stood and followed them.

You'd think chasing an old man and a crazed book fanatic through a dark forest would be easy. You'd be wrong.

I have absolutely no idea why I couldn't catch up to them. Maybe it was because, despite all the running, I was still half asleep and still getting images of Yoda and Nyan Cat. I got another wake up call by smashing into what I thought was another tree.

It yelped heroically. I realized it was Jenna.

So of course, instead of steadying me, Jenna went down with me. We fell in a tangled mess. Somebody made a noise that sounded like we'd landed on a puppy. I realized it was me.

The old man stood not too far ahead, gnawing on Jenna's book. I think he was also drooling, which was something I could have lived my whole life without seeing. He laughed. "I am a fifteen-year-old girl!" he chirped around the book.

I gritted my teeth. "Yeah, thanks, I got that memo."

"Candles. Birthday candle boy!"

"_Who_?"

"Birthday candle boy! Catches on fire!"

It took me a moment to realize he was talking about Leo. "Oh, that's a new one," I muttered to Jenna. "Remind me to call Leo that next time we see him." Jenna giggled.

"Birthday candle boy saw eyes! Me too!"

Jenna sat up, dumping me onto the ground. "Did you say you _saw _the eyes that Leo saw?"

"_The wheels on the bus go round and round..._"

Jenna turned to me excitedly. "He saw the monster!"

"You sure about that?" I said. "He wasn't exactly clear on that."

"Well, this could be a lead!" Jenna said, practically yelling.

I was just glad she was no longer having a book hyper hour.

If this doesn't resolve things, Turnip will eat you all.

**(A/n) Turnip must be the Mary Poppins bag of the drakon world...**

**Okay, not the longest or best chapter for the long wait. I apologize. Again. But I have had horrible writer's block on top of a hectic life. Does anyone know any cures for writer's block? If you can help me, I will find you and continuously kiss your feet.**

**Then again, I could just dedicate the next chapter to you.**

**Also, as I mentioned earlier, I may end the story at chapter 8. If anyone is opposed to this, please let me know! If enough people vote for the story to continue past 8, I will have to take a break to start Cherry Cola; I've been promising AquitarStar I would start it for a while now, and I really need to get it up! So, as long as enough people want it continued past 8 and don't mind waiting a while for updates, then it will not end any time soon!**

**Although it will have to end eventually...**

**Please, please, PLEASE, ****_PLEASE_**** review! I think you guys must have all been kidnapped or something; nobody reviewed chapter 6. I hope you all escaped okay and will be able to review this chapter! Remember, constructive criticism is welcome.**

**I do not own Alvin Seville, Yoda, Nyan Cat, ****_The Wheels on the Bus_****, or organic potatoes. At least, I don't think I own any organic potatoes.**

**Keep reading and reviewing! Yours in demigodishness, TLO.**


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